Did you know ….
You know you’ve had too much coffee when….
You answer the door before people knock.
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You have a bumper sticker that says: “Coffee drinkers are good in the sack.”
You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You spend every vacation visiting “Maxwell House.”
You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work there.
You’ve worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people’s fingernails.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
Your T-shirt says, “Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.”
You’re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute… with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
Cocaine is a downer.
All your kids are named “Joe”.
You don’t need a hammer to pound nails.
Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”
You don’t sweat, you percolate.
You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
You’ve worn the finish off your coffee table.
The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
You’re so wired, you pick up AM radio.
People can test their batteries in your ears.
Your life’s goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
When someone says. “How are you?”, you say, “Good to the last drop.”
You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
You’d be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”
You get drunk just so you can sober up.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
Your Thermos is on wheels.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You have a conniption over spilled milk.
You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.
You don’t tan, you roast.
You don’t get mad, you get steamed.
Your three favorite things in life are…coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.
Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.
You can’t even remember your second cup.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You think CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
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A cup of coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent.
Chocolate, men, coffee – some things are better rich.
Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.
Caffeine isn’t a drug, it’s a vitamin !!
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.
Coffee has two virtues: it’s wet and warm.
Espresso is to Italy, what champagne is to France.
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
Coffee is not my cup of tea.
Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
My blood type is coffee.
All the coffee in Columbia won’t make me a morning person
Coffee in England is just toasted milk.
There has never been a better office communication system than the coffee break.
I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine.
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee.
Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.
Retirement is one great big giant coffee break.
On the eighth day God created coffee.
Don’t criticize my coffee. You may be old and weak one day.
Is there life before coffee? There is NO life before coffee. There is life AFTER coffee !!
Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.
If you’ll excuse me a minute, I’m going to have a cup of coffee.
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
No questions until I’ve had my second cup of coffee!
Don’t drink coffee in the morning. It will keep you awake until noon.
I make serious coffee – so strong it wakes up the neighbors !!!!!!!!
- 65 countries in the world grow coffee. They are all along the equator, within the tropics.
- Coffee is not grown anywhere in the United States except Puerto Rico and Hawaii.
- In 1675 Charles II, King of England issued a proclamation banning Coffee Houses. He said that they were places where people met to plot against him.
- 30% of coffee drinkers in US added a sweetener of some kind to their coffee, compared with 57% in UK.
- October 1st is official “Coffee Day” in Japan.
- Scientists have discovered more than 800 different aromatic compounds in coffee.
- Coffee is the second most traded commodity in the world (oil is the first.)
- Brazil produces around 40% of the world’s coffee supply.
- A Belgian named George Washington invented instant coffee in 1906.
- Coffee has been used as a beverage for over 700 years.
- Black coffee with no sugar contains no calories.
- More than 20 million people worldwide, work in the coffee industry.
- There are two species of coffee plant: Arabica and Robusta.
- 75% of the world’s coffee comes from the Coffea Arabica plant.
- Drinking a single cup of coffee that has been brewing for 20 minutes provides the body with 300 phytochemicals which act as antioxidants and stay in the body for up to a month.
- In days gone by, Turkish bridegroom had to promise that they would always provide their new wives with coffee.
- Espresso Coffee has just one third of the caffeine content of ordinary coffee.
- Coffee beans are really berries. Each berry contains two beans (pips).
- An expert in preparing Turkish coffee is known as a “kahveci”.
- The Nicaraguan Margogpipe is the largest of all coffee beans.
- It takes 40 coffee beans to make an espresso.
- One coffee tree yields less than half a kilo of coffee per year.
- A coffee tree lives for between 60 and 70 years.
- Worldwide, more 1400 millions cups of coffee are drunk every day.
- Caffeine, which is found in coffee, increases the effect of some painkillers, especially aspirin and paracetamol.
- 27% of U.S. coffee drinkers and 43% of German drinkers add a sweetener to their coffee.
- The world’s largest coffee producer is Brazil with over 3,970 million coffee trees. Colombia comes in second with around two thirds of Brazil’s production.
- Hard bean means the coffee was grown at an altitude above 5000 feet.
- Arabica and Robusta trees can produce crops for 20 to 30 years under proper conditions and care.
- Most coffee is transported by ships. Currently there are approximately 2,200 ships involved in transporting the beans each year.
- The popular trend towards flavored coffees originated in the United States during the 1970’s.
- The first coffee tree in the Western Hemisphere was brought from France to the Island of Martinique in the 1720’s.
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